Two weeks ago, I was standing in my guest bedroom up to my knees in cardboard boxes, and dusty old shit.
Everything was there. The boxes and boxes of stuffed animals and Beanie Babies that have followed me from house to house since I was a kid. A bag of ancient, crumpled baby clothes my mom didnāt want to throw out and gave to me instead. I donāt want kids; these items held no future promise of use.
If you looked through each box, you could see exactly who I was at 4, 7, 12, 18, and 22.
At 29, I stood there thinking, what the fuck am I going to do with all of this?
I knew I had to identify my own patterns.
Iām a chronic thrower-outerā¦ mostly. I can get rid of things Iāve purchased for myself without a second thought: if I donāt need it, whatās the use in keeping it? The problem is when I want/need to toss something someone has given me.
When it comes to downsizing, there seems to be three struggle zones:
- ā The zone where we donāt know how to organize our shit.
ā The zone where we have so much STUFF we donāt even know where to start.
ā The zone where we feel wasteful about throwing items away.
If you watched TLC in the early 2000s, you know how big of a boner everyone had for the keep / donate / recycle method. But what about when youāre emotionally attached to the things youāre trying to remove?
You can learn how to organize, put effort into downsizing, and buy a storage solution, but getting over the hump of emotional attachment is more complicated than that. It doesnāt have a simple solution.
Thatās what I realized when I was standing there, up to my knees in ā well ā junk.
I felt guilty about severing my attachment to these items, and thatās why they had successfully followed me from house to house and city to city over the last ten years. I SAW TOY STORY 3, OKAY. And it fucked me up.
The more I sat and debated what I was going to do with these glassy-eyed teddy bears and boxes full of dolls, the worse I felt. I knew getting rid of these things would make me feel good ā eventually ā but Iād have to rip the bandaid off, quick.
Hereās what you need to know about getting rid of stuff.
- ā Your junk doesnāt want to sit alone in a box or bag. Why squirrel away old stuffed animals when someone else could enjoy and love them?
ā It can be overwhelming and emotionally taxing to go through everything at once. If you can, split your pile up into boxes or Rubbermaids, and go through one per week.
ā Your memory is not the physical item.
ā Ask yourself if youāre keeping the item because you want it, or because you feel indebted to it or the person who gave it to you.
ā Let yourself keep the very important things. Designate a space for your memories, and allow yourself to fill that shelf or box. If something doesnāt fit, either it or another item goes.
ā Crossing unfinished business off your list will free up time + energy for future you. Recycle the project you never finished, donate the ~skinny pants~ youāll never fit back into, and sell the jewelry you havenāt worn in ten years.
Remember you donāt have to throw everything in the garbage.
This, more than anything else, is where I ran into a wall over and over again. Remember the Toy Story thing? IT WAS VERY THAT.
I couldnāt get past the (very emotionally charged) vision of all my childhood toys sitting forgotten in some garbage bin somewhere. Even if I donated everything in one go to a company like Goodwill, part of me knew a large majority would still be thrown out.
So hereās what I did.
First, I took pictures and made a memory photobook.
I individually photographed each toy and knick-knack. At the time, I had no idea what I was doing – I just knew that, to take a photo of something, is to collect it.
Which is nice in theory. In reality, those pictures sat on my harddrive for EVER (and honestly letās not even get into digital cleaning) until one day, it hit me like a brick to the side of the head: a photobook.
Why hadnāt that occurred to me before?!
So, I googled around and found a photobook site I liked – Mixbook – and then took all of my sentimental pictures, and wrote a little caption for each of them that included the memory.
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I started giving away my belongings piece by piece.
Once I realized it was easier for me to get rid of something when I had a reason to give it away, things changed for me.
First, I hit up as many local organizations as I could – their Facebook pages are usually a great place to start, and often, theyāll post requests for items as they need them.
I had winter jackets, blankets, and canned food. Those went to Mustard Seed. Next up, dog toys and comforters to a dog rescue group. I picked out all of the stuffed animals I had that were still brand new or with tags (and yes, there were a few) and those went to a Christmas hamper drive for chidren in need.
I realized that there was an actual NEED for things I already had.
Once I began to gain forward momentum, it became easier. I found a used buy and sell app called Varage Sale, and started listed things on there. I made a little cash that way, too.
Now, almost two years later, itās second nature to me to pass on something that I no longer need. I spend time in the room that was, at one point, filled with childhood possessions Iād never use again, every single day.
You own your possessions. They donāt own you.
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Some great information however it would be so much more effective without the vulgar language.
Sorry to hear that, Vorene! This is part of how I write – if it doesn’t work for you, there’s definitely a content creator out there who will suit you better than I do š
I love this! I like the vulgar language too, it made me laugh! Also matched my own voice. š
Wait! There’s vulgar language? and I missed it? I’ll have to read more closely.
Thank you for your tips! I suffer from this and it was very helpful! I love the taking pics idea too! Great way to ākeep the memories aliveā without the stuff!
I am struggling with this now. I’m left with all my moms stuff and I keep holding on. She sold her house to my husband and I and past away 3 months later. She never packed her stuff up and I have kept the house the same. I said this is the year of the purge. ( not the movie lol) I want this house to be my own. Great idea with the photo book. I have all my childhood memories stuffed in closets and boxes that need to be let out.
I agree with the vulgar language complaints, and have read these very same ideas many, many times. Your article is nothing new and trashy. Know where else your dog’s tongue has been? Gross.
I donāt mind the language. Iāve read many of these articles and I think the tips are solid.
Enjoyed your article, donāt give in to the straight laced critics, continue in your entertaining informative style. It certainly has a peppery punch…now all I need to do is follow your excellent advice.
Liked your article. Wasn’t bothered by the language. I would have been pissed if the grammar and spelling were bad!
Love this! I have been working on minimizing but having trouble getting rid of the things from other people! It’s not like they would even know I got rid of it! Humans are so silly.
Great read and I love your blog design. Can’t wait to follow more of your posts
Thankyou for those tips!
I honestly needed them. I loved your idea of a photobook .
I’m a 65 yo G-ma, I express myself in the same manner. I like your approach to letting go. I’m on a purge mission. I am tackling ridding myself of a combination of my parents, including a step mom of over 50 years, my daughter’s, my grandfather’s that I raised, and my own carp. The photo book is an excellent idea. Final thought, fuck ’em, if they can’t take a joke.
I hate fucking auto correct! I raised my granddaughter, not my grandfather. But reminds me, I have some of his shot too.
I too, find the vulgar language unnecessary. With all that’s going on in the world today, why??? This could have been a nice and helpful post, but you trashed it!
I like the ideas of your artcle and will use them. Although not a prude, I have former students who read my pins, therefore I will use but not post. I still feel responsible for words/language. Thanks for some great ideas.
Gosh, if you donāt like the vulgar language, stop @ the first offense. Some folks just like to fuss. The article is what counts, the contents, ideas. All of which are funny and helpful. I feel as if I made a new friend šø
To the prudes who thought fuck was bad. Let me tell you this is 2018 and swearing is alive and well. Iām a senior citizen and Iāve heard it all. Iām surprised you know what these words are Iām sure you have a dictionary by your side. If you never fuck and you donāt own a cunt or a prick you will never understand as these words are our language like it or not. So fuck off you whinging cunt and hide under your rock.
Ok so I have been struggling for many years to let go, i have in the last 6 mo let a few things go, a lot to me but only a small dent in what I have. Your blog is nice, i also idn’t care much for the profanity but I got past it to see the real picture and in reality it just makes you that much more real than others and I certainly appreciate those true to themselves!
Taking photos has helped me so much. Your explanation of why is what was so nice to read and connect with. I struggle with letting things go because my mom has short term memory loss and I have a fear that I’ll forget….but the things will remind me. (Yes, I realize how unlogical that sounds. Haha). Man, I’m also glad that I’m not the only one emotionally tramatized by Toy Story…
Vulgar language! I find swearing clears the throat chakra! Definitely helps with
clearing out shit
Missing the point Jackwagons! The post is to help us fucking save our souls and the lives of our loved ones. If you donāt like the language, move on.
Thanks for the post, making me feel at home, & for keeping it real!