You feel hungover after spending extended time with them.
They talk and talk and talk, but never listen.
And, no matter the situation, they’re always the one ~bad things~ happen to.
If this sounds like someone you know, congratulations! You have an energy vampire in your social circle.
Q: What is an energy vampire?
A: An energy vampire is a person who seeks out other people with bright, positive energy. The more giving you are, the harder an energy vampire will latch on and suck until they can bring you down to their level.
Relationships are an exchange of energy, and an energy vampire’s contribution is to take.
Because energy vampires can’t maintain their own positive energy, they will suck the life out of you to take advantage of yours. Their idea of a conversation is one-upping every story, and making sure they are the center of attention – always.
They feed off of toxicity, and liiiiiiive for the drama, mawma.
If everyone around them is an asshole, they’re the common denominator.
Q: How do I identify an energy vampire?
A: Energy vampires are very good at what they do. I’ve known a handful of them in various workplaces and through friends, and I didn’t even realize what was happening until I was reciprocating their negativity.
The most relatable example of an energy vampire I have is: the co-worker who has been with the company since before time itself began.
You’ve probably known one, too: they’re firmly entrenched in the office space grind, and, in the fifteen years they’ve been sitting at the same desk, they’ve let themselves become pickled with negativity.
They sink into new hires and unload years and years and YEARS of gossip and work complaints into them. They act like they’re an indispensable resource, but really, the company would be more efficient – and a happier place to work – without them there.
Other signs of an energy vampire are:
⏃ They are unwilling to take responsibility
⏃ Constant nit-picking
⏃ Arguing for the sake of argument
⏃ They are wildly overconfident, or deeply insecure
Q: How do I remove myself from their energy suck?
A: It’s not always easy, but it is effective: don’t feed into their drama.
When they say something negative, counter with a positive.
If they one-up you in conversation, ignore it, and don’t let them take over.
When they try and sway you into complaining about something, don’t take the bait.
If they launch into another drama filled tale, direct the conversation elsewhere.
Yes, diverting an energy vampire’s attempts to take advantage of you will be a constant battle. If your energy vampire is just a casual acquaintance, distancing yourself may be the better option.
But – once you start course correcting – you will feel the change.
Your energy vampire might not want to talk to you as much (likely because they’ll have newer, juicier victims they can sink their teeth into), but when you do hang out, they will be firmly aware of the boundaries you’ve set… even if they don’t like it.